These are the ten commandments that form the basis of my life these days. The Ten Commandments of the great, all-encompassing force in my life.....namely DD :-)
- Thou Shalt have no other priorities before me. I don’t care if you are hungry or haven’t slept well in 4 days – I want my whims to be catered to and shall have no excuses whatsoever.
- Thou shalt not watch a movie or dine in peace. The moment you let down your guard and relax a wee tiny bit, I will call for attention - I will be hungry, thirsty, have a call of nature or at least want to be scratched in my toes for an imaginary mosquito bite.
- Thou shalt learn to respect Murphy and his laws. If you think I will sleep off early on a certain day (so you can make your wily plans), I will bound around with unending energy and make sure that you don’t have your way.
- Thou shalt learn that “Silence = Trouble”, the hard way. Sudden spells of calm and silence from me are always followed by broken glass/toys, toys thrown out of the balcony or other such damages.
- Thou shalt not have things easy, even with the use of brute force. You may be able to forcefully brush my teeth, but I will make sure that I scream my lungs out EVERY SINGLE morning and make all the neighbors cast dirty looks when you step out.
- Thou shalt not force me to eat or drink anything against my will. On a good day, I will respond by puking on your hair and dress and on other days, I will throw a tantrum – the blood-curdling kind that will make you want to jump off the balcony and end it all for some peace and quiet.
- Thou shalt not forbid me from doing anything. I will do it all the same, probably with more vigor, since the Forbidden Fruit is always more enticing.
- Thou shalt not make smug statements to thy friends/hosts - “She never eats//drinks/does …..” – I will set out immediately to prove you wrong and make you eat humble pie.
- Thou shalt not underestimate my powers of manipulation. I know exactly how to play on emotions and make you feel like the lowest form of life that ever crawled on this planet. I am also learning how to play you against dad and vice-versa.
- Thou shalt, at all times, remember who calls the final shots in this game. And that, if you have any doubt, is ME. Size does not matter.
3 comments:
Oh man, I just loved this one..gonna fwd to all my mommie friends...still LOL. :-D
let me add another one--"i shall pull your hair till u scream as loud as i demand, for my grip is an iron grip. so sooner the better for you mom":)
You have put them up so well!! LOL
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