I have wanted to post on this issue for a long time, but never got down to it. This is something many of you may not agree with. Feel free to make your comments, but I had to say what I felt.
Living in Chennai, where we are sweltering in heat for 9 out of 12 months, I ensure that DD wears only airy, cotton clothes. And I don't believe in the girls-wear-pink-frocks-with-satin-bows theory. So I go for all colors, and all sorts of clothes - by which I mean that she wears trousers, pyjamas, shorts, Capri's, frocks, skirts and whatever else there is. Whenever I take her to the park or for open door activity, I make sure she is wearing shorts or capri's, more for convenience. Because a frock or skirt is more restrictive of movements and I don't want her to be hindered by her dress. And DD also has this short summer crop, which, combined with her attire, makes her look like a little boy.
So most people whom we meet at the park or the roads say "Oh, look at that little boy.." to their kid(s). Initially I used to feel upset, but now I have gotten so used to it that I give them a hearty grin and point out that I have a girl. I even add cheekily "See, her ears are pierced". While some of them just carry on with the conversation, there are a few that trail off saying "Oh she was wearing shorts, so I thought...".
But nothing can beat the remarks made by this neighbor of mine. She seemed to be a friendly lady and we had always been nice to each other. One day, she asks me in a conspiratorial whisper "Do you dress your daughter in shorts, because you always wanted a son?" I was so angry I didn't trust myself to open my mouth. Thankfully DD was perched on my arms, or I might have slapped her.
Now, is this something to do with Chennai, with its so-called conservative outlook? I don't know. I see quite a few girls (school-going and college) wearing shorts. But when I go shopping for DD, I have to go to the "boys section" to pick up shorts ! In fact, I have seen very little gender-neutral clothes at this age, where actually there is plenty of scope for such. Does that mean it is okay to wear shorts only after you grow up, when people can figure out your gender?
Years ago, I went to a toy store and told the guy that I needed to buy a gift for a 2 year old. "Boy or Girl?" he asked. At that point, I didn't think much about it. But now I get irritated when I think of it. Oh yeah.. we need to get dressed-up Barbie dolls and kitchen-sets for girls, and nice shining cars for the boys. Why do we need to start the stereotyping so young? Let the kids wear what is comfortable, and play with toys that are sensible. DD continues to wear shorts and whatever toys DH & I have got her are all gender-neutral. She has a couple of dolls that were gifted by others, and at this age, she seems no more interested in her dolls than in any other toy. If, at a later age, due to peer-influence, she wants to wear frilly frocks and play with Barbies, I am fine with that. But I don't want to try and force her into the gender mould.
2 comments:
I so agree with you. There really are no gender neutral clothese days. Even the denims for girls are embellished with frills and other pink stuff.
Also find it very silly when people dress their girls in frocks for the park. They are less comfortable to fun around in and just think about where all that sand goes when they plonk themselves down in the sand pit...
My kids are growing up in North America. Perhaps that is why I don't see any need to be apologetic if girls want to be little "princesses". Girls have the freedom to choose to be feminine and strong - they need not be mutually exclusive. My little girl enjoys her dress up pyjama parties with the other girls - as well as her Ju-Jitsu classes with her Dan. As long as your little girl doesn't feel unattractive, who cares what the rest of world says ?!
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